“For all the things my hands have held, the best is by far you”
As I sit here to write this post in a quiet home where kids are peacefully sleeping, I don’t quite know where to begin, except for how in the heck did I get so lucky?! I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, I’m pretty sure I played with dolls until 7th or 8th grade(not joking…and yes totally embarrassing ) to practice my future life as a mom! And here I am 14 years later blessed with two amazing kids of my own!
Motherhood is full of so many crazy emotions, challenges and love. Somedays I feel so on top of things and positive like “hey I rock at this mom thing.” While others its more like “oh no, I didn’t handle that situation right, are my kids doomed?!” But seriously, thats what being a mom is all about, theres awesome days and theres not so awesome days when you are just ready to get your kids into bed for the night, but then wait, you start to miss them and feel oh-so guilty for wanting to put them to bed when you could be cuddling them and staring at their cute faces. Motherhood is a learning as you go kind of deal and you just have to roll with it! You can’t beat yourself up about the not so good days or moments, you are still a great mom and your babes still love you more than ANYTHING and know that you love them too!
Having a boy and a girl has been one huge learning experience in its own! They are also pretty close in age (23 months apart) so that alone can cause for some craziness. I had my little Rilynn first and she was seriously the easiest child in the world, piece of cake “I’m ready for another one” So then came Hudson, a boy?! I was seriously convinced that I was going to have another girl and Rilynn was going to have a sister just like I did. But where’s the fun in life if you are always getting what you expect! Having a boy seriously made me so so nervous, could I smother him and baby him like I was use to doing with Rilynn? Um yes of course! I am a strong believer that “God only gives you what you can handle” and come to find out Boys are just as awesome as girls but I think it was normal fear to have! I love having a boy and a girl! You really do get the best of both worlds and my kids have completely opposite personalities, I seriously wouldn’t have it any other way.
Some days are peaceful and others I’m playing referee, breaking up fights and constantly repeating “please share,” or “don’t hit each other with that” Our days are filled with “I love you sissy” and “I love you brothers” which melt my momma heart every time! They’re constantly chasing each other around the house while laughing historically. I secretly love when they fight over who gets to sit on my lap while I drink my coffee, we always compromise and decide I have two legs, one was made for each of them. The cuddles and hugs make up for any mishaps through out the day and it will never get old! I even steal a handful of kisses when the opportunity arises. Just knowing that they have each other, as built in best friends is the best feeling ever. I wish I could freeze time and replay the moments when I see Hudson looking up at his sister and quickly copies what she does. I pray every night that they will always share the special bond they share today and stay best friends forever.
Getting to watch them each grow into their little people is the most amazing feeling in the world it’s completely indiscribable and I cannot wait to see what God has planned for their futures.
i love you this much and more and then some Hudson and Rilynn